tupacabra: msjewbooty: BUY LEMONADE $0.50 PER CUP WILL SHIP OVERSEAS
theneverendingdrums: wimpala: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it update: i got away with it omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got...
burritwo: adrians: a-creepy-weirdo-has: adrians: I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen
tears-pain-and-gay: coolman229: Oh my gosh I just realized David TENnant He played the TENth Doctor. Matt SmELEVENith He plays the ELEVENth Doctor. It took me a very long time to realise Matt Smith doesn’t have the word eleven in it
brbjellyfishing: What if crazy Steve killed drake, josh and their parents, kidnapped Megan and took her to Seattle, forced her to call herself Carly, and made her pretend she was his little sister
whittenorr: i just got really fucked up thinking about clouds weigh as much as an elephant or a 747 or more but still float literally full of electricity much like your standard vibrator pisses rain all over us ungrateful bastards make cool shapes like rabbits or dongs they dont give a fuck where they go they just go to trash shit props clouds, you’re metal as hell
ambitiousbard: just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr
Me every night: I can have exactly 7 hours 23 minutes and 48 seconds of sleep if I fall asleep right now.
gatzzby: hannahsneakers: why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books i mean best male/female character best antagonist best plot development best plot twist come on #book you threw across the room the hardest
snlofficial: when ur crush talks about how hot someone else is
a-sexy-cat: actually taking time to do your hair and making it all nice then walking outside and
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
thepensivebrony: “you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you” finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
fuckyeahgirlcrush: every time I listen to Florence + the Machine I turn into a literal meadow dwelling nymph who wears raindrops as hats and sunbathes on a lilypad
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
theangelgabrieldidmyhair: Yahoo people taking an actual look at the site they just bought